Make me whole
(Iris after Miles asks why he falls for girls he knows aren't good for him) "Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you."
"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
from the movie "The Holiday"
This is actually perfect for what I'm feeling right now. I wish for a moment I can become unfeeling and just numb. I never saw this movie on the big screen, in fact I only saw this a couple of months ago when HBO started showing its reruns. When I heard these lines said, they stuck home. My eyes immediately teared up. I've always admired how certain writers can put exactly into words some painful truths that almost everyone can relate to.
I guess everyone has to go through this cycle right? Finding love, losing it, going through that phase of re-inventing yourself and finding love again. Well it's a vicious cycle. I must admit though that no matter how many times I've gotten hurt in the past, I'll always welcome love. Love is a great gift. Besides the heart is incredibly resilient, it becomes whole again after being broken into a million pieces. We, as human beings have an incomparable capacity to love, so even though it might be burdensome to go through that whole phase again...we go through it nevertheless.